Thursday, November 08, 2007

How do you know you are a teacher?

by Jeff Foxworthy
(I realize that I'm cheating here but 1) some of these are way too true and I couldn't resist sharing and 2) folks, I went from hardly posting at all to not missing one day so far. Forgive me this one little cheat?)

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another. (This happens more often than you might think.)
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes. (I'd say 15 minutes.)
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period. (Only job in the world where you have to plan when you take sips of water.)
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 4 and have summers off." (Oh my Goodness that makes me MAD!)
10. You believe chocolate is a food group. (Wait, it isn't!?!?)
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside. (Sooooo true! So true, in fact that it's a lesson I teach every single one of my student teachers.)
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils. (Sadly, this is true too.)
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.

1 comment:

Kelli said...

1st, this totally isn't cheating. Post every day - that's the only rule and you're rockin' it.

I'm not even a teacher and these are hilarious! I feel like - thanks to knowing you and hearing your stories (Along w/ some of Beth's and NPW's - I could totally relate to the list.)