Friday, May 16, 2008

Bittersweet

Today is my last day of work....even though our daughter hasn't arrived, my maternity leave officially starts at 3:45 this afternoon.

Interestingly, almost everyone around me keeps asking me if I am excited. I know why of course...at this point in the year teachers are all burnt out and exhausted. Overwhelmed with the assessments we have to give, the end of year goals we have to write, the data we have to enter and analyze for various reports, a room that has to be packed up, the gobs and gobs of money that has to be spent to buy gifts for everyone in creation and the preparations that have to be made now for next year...plus, you know, teaching a group of increasingly rambunctious students who believe that summer started the first warm days we have. The end of the year is a marathon not a sprint, and it is a non-stop one at that. So, I understand why the teachers around me are envious at the thought of me staying home, avoiding the crush of the end of the year and being able to relax instead of run constantly....

And I am excited. After a year of chairing two committees, serving on at least two others, serving as union Vice President, writing Reading Curriculum, taking grad classes, being pregnant and teaching in a rather demanding district, I am excited to just. stop. I am excited for random little projects around the house that I don't get to do in the hustle and bustle of every day life. And of course, I am most excited to meet my daughter for the first time....

But I'm also sad. So sad that I think I've cried more this week then I have throughout my whole pregnancy. (I know, I know, part of that is hormones....) I'm one of those teachers that LOVES to teach. I love the end of the year madness. I love everything about finishing out a year and thinking about next year...because this is when I start to think about next year. When I look at those second graders and wonder which of them will be spending a year of their lives with me. This is when I think about the students I have now and marvel at their growth and laugh about the stories from the year and how each one of them has left a lasting impression on my heart. This is one of the best parts of the year--and one of the best parts of teaching--the saying goodbye while simultaneously saying hello. The reflection on a year well spent, the eager anticipation of a summer vacation to come and the hope that comes with a new batch of students....

I'll be missing out on so much of this....
But I'll also be welcoming our daughter into this world. And I know, without a doubt, that there is no greater miracle, no greater joy, than that....so it is with bittersweet, and mixed, emotions that I start, and end, my last day....

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

And the winner is....

Throughout my pregnancy I have had numerous interesting, and, at times, insulting comments made....however, I feel taht this one wins the grand prize. The Gold Star. The Comments to End All Comments. Here's how the conversation went:

S (a colleague): When is your due date again?

Me: June 6th, your dog's birthday. (This may seem odd that I said this but keep in mind that every time the woman asks me my due date she then tells me that it is her dog's birthday and then launches into a story about her dog that usually lasts a good ten minutes. This time I figured I'd cut her off a bit....)

S: Oh, I can't believe you remember that, it must have been horribly insulting that I said that to you!

Me: No, no, not at all....

S: Well, my dog IS rather adorable, and if your baby is half as cute as my dog then you will be very lucky....

I am not making this up.
She *actually* told me that I will be lucky if my DAUGHTER is HALF as cute as her DOG.