Wednesday I went to school. I'm taking some time off from work right now and going through a whole range of emotions around that....but I'm not ready to write that post. Not yet.
This post is going to be about some of the things I learned when I went to school. There was a meeting scheduled with a notoriously difficult parent (I want to keep my job so I'm not giving details on that one) and I decided it would be in my best interest, and the child's, if I attended. So I did. This meant that I had to get up (not difficult since I've been getting up at 5 am with Russ anyways), get myself dressed and ready, get Aliza dressed and ready and get out the door to drop her off at my mom's house so that I could get to school in time for the meeting. This is something I'd wondered about--can I get out the door when it's time for me to get to work? So I was a little glad to get the dry run. Here's what I learned:
1) I can do it. I can actually, physically, get up, get breakfast and lunch made for Russ, get dressed and ready to go, get Aliza ready to go and get out the door on time.
2) The only reason I can accomplish #1 was because I prepared the night before. My clothes were chosen (no easy task these days as I still can't fit into many of my clothes) and ironed. Aliza's bag was packed, as was mine. When I do go back to work I will have to spend the night before making sure I am prepared for the next day.
3) Aliza really is such an easygoing baby. (And, yes, I know I am incredibly lucky for that.) She didn't wake up in time for me to leave the house, which I suspected would happen, so I woke her up and put her right in her car seat (I was clever and put her in the kind of jammies that allowed this to happen). Even though that was how she started her day I STILL got the biggest smile from her.
4) Leaving her was very difficult. But I did it. And I kicked right into school mode as soon as I said goodbye. Even not teaching I kicked into school mode. (If you are a teacher then you get this, if you aren't then all I can say to explain it is that you have 20+ students to think about and lessons to prepare and copies to make and parents to email and teachers to talk to and basically a million and one things to do before the day is over and that is what you start thinking about....)
5) The day goes by VERY fast when you are at work. Way faster than when you are home alone with a baby.
6) This family, this student, is going to be my cross to bear this year. That's all I will say about it because, like I said, I want to keep my job.
7) I miss my friends at school.
8) Picking up Aliza, and being greeted with another large smile, was the highlight of my whole day.
3 comments:
Congrats! Getting prepared for the next day IS essential, and also gets hard to do after a long day. I used to rock Jax and dread the stack of bottles to wash and remake for the next day. BUT it is worth it.
p.s. Thanks for your comments!
I am glad you're back to posting, even if there are some things you're not quite ready to write about.
Thank you for your comment on my more recent post. I debated about hitting publish on that one for awhile. It's funny, most of the time I don't mind at all that most things going through my head are out in the great wide open. But every once in awhile I feel very guarded and private about my thoughts...and wonder if I should post them. I think it's because I'm always worried someone will read just one post and think they have me all figured out...which, of course, duh, if they have 1/2 a brain they know they can't figure someone out in one post...and I don't try and do that with the blogs I read regularly so why do I get so darn worried?
Just some rambling food for thought...
Miss you!
Congrats from Seattle too! Jaxmom hit it right on the head...it is so hard to get things ready for the next day, but it makes your mornings so much easier.
I know what you mean about all the emotions surrounding not working. I'm leaving my job with this cross-country move and it is scaring me to death. I have held a job since I was 16...so lots of stuff going through my own head too.
BTW, Russ can make his own breakfast and lunch. Don't fall into the trap of: "I'm the one who is home so I should do these things"...it makes giving them up harder when you do go back to work.
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