Sunday, October 04, 2009


I miss blogging. I know, I know, I wasn't exactly a prolific blogger, but I enjoyed sharing my stories and my noticings. I want to blog. I want to catch up with my friends- both those I know personally and those I've met here in the wide world of the web--but, well, something had to give. And, unfortunately, it was blogging.
Here are some things kicking around in my head and in my world these last several weeks:

Aliza is, officially, a toddler. She walks far more than she crawls at this point. Her confidence in her ability to walk is growing. Before she used to take an unsteady step or two and then fall down and crawl the rest of the way to her destination. Now, well, now she takes several steps, less unsteady than before, falls and immediately stands up again to keep walking. She traverses our house this way and it still makes me want to cry when I see it. I'm so proud of her and, at the same time, so amazed that my little baby is WALKING. Seeing her this way, as a toddler and not as a baby, is filling me with some mixed feelings.....on the one hand I am so proud that she is walking and so filled with wonder at her development, and on the other, I miss my baby. I'm starting to feel that urge to have another child. Before you get excited (Mom and Mom S.), it's not time and we aren't ready yet but seeing Aliza walk somehow has me more and more ready.

I hate my thesis. Actually, that's not entirely true, I actually really love my topic although I'm still not convinced I'm going to produce something stellar the way I had hoped, but I'm interested in what I'm doing and I want to do it. Just not now. See, when I signed up for this class, I read the course description and didn't quite realize I'd actually be writing a thesis. Get over it already, I know but man, it is A LOT of work. It is more work than I had mentally prepared myself for and frankly it is ridiculously overwhelming. This week we have a rough draft of Chapter 2 due by Wednesday night. Chapter 2 requires me to find up to 12 articles (20 by the time I'm done with the whole document) on three themes related to my topic and then to write about them in a narrative. I'm not entirely sure what all that means. I have a friend in the course with me who is a mom and a teacher as well and we keep repeating our mantra: "We CAN do this." I'm not sure who we are trying to convince, but if we say it often enough, hopefully it will come true. In other course related news, I did find out that the practicum I am concurrently working on isn't due for another 10 months. (Oh, didn't I tell you that I'm doing a thesis and a practicum? I probably forgot to mention it because whenever I do talk about it a note of hysteria creeps into my voice that I am convinced makes everyone around me wonder about my mental stability. So I now avoid talking about the two projects together.) Ten months though......seems manageable.
My Mom and Dad are safe and sound at home from their travels abroad. They were in Italy for two weeks and this educator sure did miss them. So did Aliza, who kept picking up the phone, dialing numbers, holding it to her ear and, when asked who she was calling would declare, with conviction, "Nonna!" No more two week vacations Mom, it's way too long!
Aliza is blowing me away with how much she is growing every day. She comes out with new words every day (yesterday it was circle). It's amazing that we are now able to communicate with her. I can tell her, Aliza, almost time for a bath! and she'll look at me and say splash, splash and then walk on over to the gate and point up the stairs letting me know she is ready now. She's also developing a bit of an independent streak. She loves to take my hand, make me stand up, and guide me exactly where she wants me to go. She also loves to yell at me if I don't go exactly where she wants me to. It's so darned cute that I laugh at her every time, which makes her more upset. She's also doing this funny thing where she likes to hold on to stuff. Car keys, cups, toy shovels, you name it, she's got a death grip on it. I try not to let her hang on to anything when I'm dropping her off at school because, inevitably, she'll cry if I try to take it from her when I leave and I hate for her to start a day like that......but I don't always win that battle.

The mom of one of my students has the following quote as her email signature:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato

And with that thought, I will leave you dear friends......


JaxMom said...

Great quote, Lisa. Hang in there. You CAN do it, one day at time.

Tina said...

My eyes glazed over as I tried to read that paragraph about your thesis, and then I woke up again when I realized you were talking about my niece. In my (current and past) programs, a thesis is listed as "Masters Thesis" or "Dissertation Research". It is not disguised as anything else. I can just imagine how irritated I'd be if I found myself bamboozled into an unintended thesis... so feel free to complain about it as much as you need.

Keetha said...

Great job on the thesis! That is tough and you can do it. Glad you have a "study buddy" in the same boat.

Kelli said...

I love that Plato quote. It's a good one.

Dianna said...

You CAN do it!! Hang in there!
Miss you!