Changes

I couldn't tell you the latest hit song on the radio....but I can sing the songs from every one of Aliza's toys. (Oh, you don't believe me? Well, let's see, there's her lap top which sings "My first lap top is so fun, it's made just for M-E! Learning all about my home, come along and see!" Then there is her zoo that plays three songs (I'll only give you snippets): "Some babies toddle, some babies waddle, elephants can really STOMP..." and "Don't you think it's cold in here? The penguin just says NO! This is how I like it, with lots of ice and snow....." and "You'll see lots of animals, when you're at the zoo. Monkeys, tigers, elephants, lions, zebras too!..." I could keep going, but I'm sure you get the point.) Her favorite songs? I know that too: The Wheels on the Bus and Weinie Man.

I also couldn't tell you the last time I tried out a new recipe, something I used to love doing with some regularity. But I could tell you every single thing Aliza has eaten for the last several days. I could also tell you which foods she prefers (eggs, turkey or veal meatballs, pasta, sweet potato, green beans, grapes and watermelon) and which foods she doesn't like quite as much (lamb, zucchini, yellow squash and apple sauce- which she used to love).

I have absolutely no idea what the last book was that I managed to read from cover to cover, but I could tell you some of Aliza's favorites (King Bidgood's in the Bathtub, Blue Hat, Green Hat (her daddy does movement with this one), and any lift the flap or touch and feel book).

The last time I worked out for me? No clue. (Bad, I know.) But the last time I walked with Aliza? Just today in fact. Right around the block, stopping every few feet so she could touch the bush, or feel the tree, or reach for a low hanging branch....naming everything she points to so that people we pass stare for a second and then smile when they realize what I'm doing.

When you think about having a child, there are certain things people warn you about: not getting a lot of sleep, handling poopy diapers, listening to cries.....but what they don't warn you about is this: how everything in your world becomes your baby. How a smile makes your heart sing and a cry hurts you in your soul. They don't warn you that you look at the world with new eyes: fresh eyes, experiencing things for the first time eyes; but eyes that also see the dangers- the corner of the table that you can picture-vividly- your little baby banging her head on, the glass paperweight that you can imagine smashing and hurting delicate hands or toes, and let's not even talk about the big wide world filled with scary things.....what you don't realize, before you have a child, is that everything you know, everything you are, becomes wrapped up in this one wonderful little person. Who manages to change every day, and amaze you every day, and make you laugh and make you cry and make your heart fill up with love......every single day.