Observation

Today I am being observed.
Not by my principal.
Not by a colleague.
Not even by the language arts coordinator in our building.

Today I am being observed by a parent.

I've been observed by my principal, by colleagues and student teachers. I've had the language arts coordinator for our building in my room and various special ed teachers in my room. I've even had the district language arts coordinator in my room observing, as well as an outside consultant for reading.

None of these people have made me as nervous as this parent.
I am imagining the worst- that he will walk in with a video camera, or a tape recorder. That he will sit there and glare at me and take copious notes on everything I say and do. And that he will then follow up with more meetings to discuss everything that is wrong in the classroom.....

What he doesn't know is that, after a recent interaction where he questioned a decision I had made I woke up in the middle of the night with a certainty growing in me. The certainty that I KNOW what I am doing. And I decided, then and there, that I will not let him make me question myself. Sure, I'm not perfect. As a teacher I make a million decisions in a day, and I'm bound to mess up some of them. Lessons bomb, kids go crazy, things happen. But I know what I'm doing. I have two degrees in elementary education and I'm pursuing a third. That aside, I have nine years of teaching experience. If there's one thing I know it is kids.

So I will not let this parent make me question my teaching. I will not let him put me down. I'm the teacher, not him. I will hold my convictions close to my heart and I will teach the way I always do. With laughter and love and a pinch of firmness.

And I'm going to wear the pendant Aliza gave me for Christmas, just to remind myself of what's really important in my life.