Choices

All the toys in the world:

And this is what she plays with:

Chivalry

The other day I was walking up the stairs at school. I made my way past a fifth grade class, saying hello to the teacher- a male veteran teacher that was just hired at our school this year. Our building is full of windows (great for natural light, bad for heating and cooling) and as I continued walking I observed the coolest thing I've seen in a long time....he stopped at the top of the stairs and held the door open. All of his kids also stopped, except for the girls. The girls, no matter their place in line, continued past their male classmates- through the door that was held for them and into the classroom. Before all the boys. Once all the girls had passed, then the boys proceeded up the stairs, followed, finally, by the teacher.

I couldn't believe my eyes, and doubled back to ask the teacher if he did, in fact, let all the girls go ahead of the boys into the class. He replied with an, "of course I did, ladies first.....isn't that what everyone does?"
Chivalry is not dead. At least not at my school.

Glorious

This weekend was, in a word, glorious. It was sunny and warm, so warm that I actually was walking around in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops and wishing for lazy summer days.

Aliza was feeling better on Saturday, but we decided to lay low at home to give her one more day to recuperate. Her Grams and Gramps visited and we had a lovely picnic outside- the first of many I am sure:

Actually, this picnic motivated us to finally buy some patio furniture. We're hoping it will arrive before Aliza's first birthday so we can use it , but even if it doesn't, we are looking forward to spending many summer nights eating outside together. Speaking of first birthday, we did take a trip to Party City to pick out her party supplies, marveling the whole time that our little baby girl will be 1 in just three weeks....

Aliza took a nice long nap on Saturday afternoon (all that sunshine and fresh air!) which gave me the opportunity to do some much needed yard work. Our yard is a bit daunting, but I began to tackle two small areas, weeding and hoeing and envisioning the plants I wanted to plant. It was hot and sweaty work, but oddly satisfying to see the wheelbarrow fill with weeds and the flowers that were beginning to peek through get cleared off of winter's debris.

Sunday Russ decided to start my day with breakfast in bed, which was a lovely surprise and a super fun treat. Next, Aliza and I went to church with Nonna and Grosspapa and then returned home to take yet another long walk around the neighborhood- our third of the weekend. Before Aliza was born I used to look at the families walking around and wonder what it would be like to be pushing my own baby.....well, it is even more fun than I anticipated, especially lately as Aliza reaches and points and chats with me while we walk. During her afternoon nap I managed to scrub down the kitchen, do some laundry and run a bunch of errands (including buying the plants for the areas I cleared out!), leaving me feeling tired, but rather satisfied. Then we headed over to celebrate cousin Juliette's 6th birthday. Cosette and Juliette were, as always, excited to see Aliza. This picture was taken last weekend, but I think they stayed this close to her all night long Sunday too:

It was, as I said, a glorious weekend....filled with productive errands, long walks in the sun, playing outside and a baby girl who is, happily, feeling much better!

Hand, foot and mouth....

My poor little love has her first big illness; hand, foot and mouth disease. It started with a loss of appetite (for her), and a little bit more fussiness than usual. I attributed both to teething, especially since she was drooling a ton and putting everything in her mouth. When the symptoms continued I decided to call the doctor, just to be sure, and was told that it could be teething or it could be an ear infection so just monitor her.
She developed a low grade fever and continued to be fussy. Then she started to get a rash and was actually wanting to crawl into her crib to sleep. That's when her Gram S. took her to the doctor to discover that she was well and truly sick.
I'm home with her today and she is most definitely not herself.

Being home with her, my sick baby girl, makes me think of what my mom would do for us when we were sick. We got to stay in their bedroom (because it had a T.V. and a REALLY cozy, large, papasan chair) or on the couch downstairs if we wanted. And we got to watch T.V. or movies. All Day. My mom would give us a little bell to ring if we needed her so we wouldn't have to shout, although I don't think we ever used the bell because she kept our glass filled with juice or ginger ale and she checked on us constantly. Not that I liked being sick, but it sure did feel just a little bit special.

Now, I can't do all of these things for Aliza since she is only 11 months old, but she has stayed in her jammies all day. And I have made some yummy foods to try to entice her to eat (her Nonna even came over and made her yummy meatballs and soup). We did spend some time on the couch together too....and I've spent the whole day worrying about her. I want to make her feel better and I know that, other than giving her Tylenol and as much liquid as I can and as many snuggly hugs as she wants, there isn't much I can do. I'm sure she's uncomfortable, maybe even sore, but this virus has to just run its course.
This feeling of helplessness seriously sucks. And I can't help but wonder, is this what it's like? Is this motherhood? Wanting to protect your little love from anything that can harm her, but knowing that you really can't protect her from the world? I'm being a little melodramatic, I know, but it is her first big illness and I am a new mom.

And I just want her to be happy again.

Dinner time

Everything I know about how to raise Aliza I learned from my parents.....One of the things that we have been doing with her, that I grew up doing was having family meals. I remember, before her arrival, I told Russ that we would have to stop eating dinner in front of the T.V. (as was our custom) and start actually eating at the table when Aliza was around. He agreed immediately because even then we loved the idea of family meals around the table.

Now that we are actually doing it, it is even better than we imagined.....Aliza takes awhile to eat (she feeds herself after all) so she is often sitting in her high chair while I am finishing up dinner. I talk to her while I cook and tell her everything I'm doing. Sometimes she talks back to me, sometimes she just focuses on her eating. Usually she reaches a point where she is ready for some company and, if I've timed things well, it is about the time that we are ready to eat with her. Interestingly, she always eats more when we are sitting down eating with her. She also talks more. I like to ask her about her day and share with her the things I know she did. Russ and I talk too, to each other I mean.....

This time is becoming so special to me. In fact, I find myself turning into my dad; he would always grumble a little when the phone rang in the middle of dinner, and sometimes even refuse to answer it saying, "It's dinner time, who is calling at this hour?" Now, if we are eating and the phone rings, I often tell Russ not to answer it (although he usually does anyways) and the other day I caught myself saying, "it's dinner, who is calling?" I laughed to myself.....because I get it now.

Play time

Aliza has been growing in leaps and bounds as far as I can tell. Or maybe not growing so much as learning new things.....

Last week she figured out how to crawl forward. I knew this day would come and I knew that when it did we would remember with sweet fondness the days when she sat in one place. Happily, we now sit next to her and scootch along the floor beside her so that when she decides to crawl to the couch, or her table toy, or her toy bin and pull herself up, we can be there to make sure she doesn't come crashing down. She's always rather proud of herself when she manages to accomplish this:

We've had some fun experiencing some new things together lately. I made a sandbox out of some cornmeal and a baking pan (I read about it online and decided I'd get her ready for her beach house visits). Aliza didn't quite know what to do with the "sand" at first but eventually dove in and even tasted a bit. Hopefully she won't do that with real sand!

She's also been quite chatty lately. Her new favorite word is "Dag-gum", with the emphasis on the gum part. We have no idea what that means, and have spent many minutes questioning her as to what she is talking about, but so far she's choosing not to enlighten us. So for now, we smile when she says it, and sometimes repeat it back for her. She has also said cat--or rather AT, more than once, and always when our cat, Linus, is near (which is quite often).

She's been eating a ton lately and I've had some fun trying out some new food combinations for her. She's now had french toast for breakfast- minus the butter and the syrup of course. Like her daddy though, she prefers eggs and toast:

The poor thing STILL doesn't have teeth, although I'm convinced her runny nose of the past several days is evidence that teeth are sure to appear any day now. I suspect the gummy grins we love so much will be a thing of the past soon enough! She's been making her "sniffy face" quite a bit lately though and I finally captured it mid-sniff:

All of this excitment often tires her out, although she'll never admit it until moments before nap time or bed time.....unless she falls asleep before we even make it upstairs:

Happy Easter!

To you and yours.....with love and smiles and hugs!

If aliens ever land on earth, I know who should talk to them....

Overheard in my classroom:

C: Ninja mouse's head is wearing off.

Me: What???

C: Ninja mouse's head, it's wearing off....

Another student: I think he said that he likes nut crunchers.....

Me: (Laughing) I don't think that's what he said! C, what are you talking about???

C: Ninja mouse! (Holding up a pencil with a purple eraser top that he has colored in with a marker.) It's wearing off! (Pointing to the top of the eraser that is worn down from so much erasing.)

Me: So, let me get this straight, you've nicknamed your eraser Ninja Mouse and it's wearing out?

C: Yes!

Me: (Still laughing, because, really, I love third graders) Why don't you get a new one?

C: OK!

Hiatus

Sorry for my recent hiatus from the blogging world.....my To-Do list the last two weeks including planning and participating in twenty parent teacher conferences (spread over three days), completing twenty report cards (because someone more important than me thought it would be a grand idea to have conferences and report cards happen at the exact same time), writing two big papers for class (both of which were simulations for the CT Administrator Test, one of which counted for 40% of my grade), attending two and a half days worth of workshops/professional development (if you saw how long my sub plans are you would understand why I am mentioning that here) and, you know, being a mom, wife and teacher. Needless to say, something had to give and blogging (and sleeping) were it.

Now, as I glance at the clock, I realize it is 6:25, which means I am late, which means I don't have time to write more.....however, I will leave you with a video of my Snuggles, discovering grass for the first time. She is not quite sure what to make of it, nor is she sure what she should do with it....

Dropping like flies

A couple of days ago I heard quick running followed by the most awful of noises coming from upstairs. "What in the world is that?" I wondered.....I thought perhaps it was something Russ was listening to on the T.V. and returned to the work I was trying to complete. The noise stopped for a bit and then resumed, louder and worse than before. This time I decided to head upstairs to tell Russ to quiet down or he'd wake Aliza up.

I found him crouched on the floor, hunched over the toilet....doing the only thing you do when you are in that position. I don't think I've ever seen (or heard) Russ throwing up in all the years we've been together....hence my confusion over the noise. He has spent the last few days barely eating and sleeping a ton. I've tried to keep him far away from Aliza, fearing for her health as well.

This morning my mom arrived to pick up Aliza and told me she was also not feeling so great. I decided to take a half day so I could spend the afternoon with my daughter....trying to keep her healthy. If there's something better than only working a half day and then spending an afternoon with a smiley, chatty ten month old, then I don't know what it might be. She is in good spirits and seems to be enjoying her time with momma. I am hoping that she stays healthy, and that I don't catch whatever this nasty stomach bug is.

I figure even if she does get sick, at least she has a friend to comfort her:

Wasn't it just yesterday?

This past weekend I went to a baby shower for a good friend of mine who is expecting her first child, a boy, in about a month and a half. She walked--no, waddled in--a huge smile on her face and almost instantly made a beeline for me, one of her few friends who has recently had a child. I gave her a hug, told her she looked beautiful (pregnant women should hear that at least five times a day I feel) and reassured her that she could, in fact, take off her sweater. She was wearing a pretty green silk shirt that, within five minutes of eating, had small stains on the tummy. You just reach a point where you can't avoid it and as I glanced at her belly and saw the stains, I smiled to myself and thought, "god, I remember that....." As she was opening her gifts I saw the toys and clothes and car seats and diapers and all the things you need for a baby and I was feeling like it wasn't so long ago that I was doing exactly what she was doing. But it wasn't until she opened her bigger car seat-which happened to be the exact same one that we recently installed for Aliza-that it hit me. Really? It was almost a full year ago that I had my baby showers. Everyone says it goes fast and, almost ten months later I agree with them fervently. A week ago we were bringing Aliza home for the first time and trying to figure out where we should put her....six days ago I was wondering if she would ever wake up so I could see her eyes....five days ago we were feeding her rice cereal for the first time and wondering if she would like it.....three days ago she said mom-mom for the first time and I swear it was just yesterday that she had her first "real" food.

And now? Now, she sits up, she crawls (mostly backwards), she pulls herself up to stand, she calls mom-mom and da-da, she smiles and giggles, she talks, she eats chicken and carrots and pears and all sorts of other yummy food, she sleeps through the night, she turns pages in a book, she lets us know where she wants to go and she does a slew of other things that astonish me every day.....including laughing at her Daddy when he is being silly. I want to tell her to slow down! And at the same time? I can't wait for what's to come....for walks and talks...for morning snuggles and bedtime book negotiations.....for first days of school and ballet class....and for all of the amazing things I know she will do and be.
But maybe not quite yet.

Who thought this was a good idea anyways?

After Aliza's last doctor's appointment, where the pediatrician assured us Aliza should be sleeping through the night having had all of her nutritional needs met during the day we made the decision not to wake up with her anymore. Actually, we made the decision that if she did wake up in the middle of the night to nurse (as she has been doing for the last several months) I would not be the one to go into her room....Russ would. And he would comfort her and encourage her to go back to sleep.

We geared up for this, assuming that, as the doctor said, it would take a few nights of listening to her cry before she got the picture and slept through the night. We worked out a plan, I promised to stay away, we committed to staying the course no matter how difficult.....Wouldn't you know? The same day we decided not to feed her, she started sleeping through the night. I'm convinced it is because I told her I wasn't going to feed her. I sat her down, made her look at me and in a very firm voice let her know that it was time to sleep through the night and Mommy wasn't going to feed her anymore. She listened.

Jokes were made--wouldn't you know once we decide Daddy has to get up she decides to sleep!- hugs were given--great job Aliza, let's do it again!-and we were happy that what we anticipated being a rough transition was anything but.


Until two nights ago. I stayed up way too late working on a paper (thanks to a professor who decided that even though our class was cancelled due to snow we should have not one, not two, but three make up written assignments) and crawled into bed around midnight. Four hours later Aliza was awake and crying. No, not crying, WAILING. Russ was a trooper- he got out of bed and went to comfort her.
It didn't make a difference. She kept wailing, now with little hiccoughs because the poor thing was crying so hard. Russ waited about seven minutes and went back in.
No dice. Now she was calling for me "Mmmooom, mom mom" in her sweet little voice. I'll admit, by now I'm crying too. It was breaking my heart hearing her cry and I knew she'd stop as soon as I went in there. Russ kept reassuring me she was fine, we had to stick to our plan, she'd be OK.....at one point he even had to restrain--I mean, hug me so I wouldn't go in there. I contemplated going downstairs so at least I'd hear the cries but they'd be a bit muted but I didn't....I started telling myself that as hard as this is, it is not even the hardest thing we will have to do together, the three of us. That didn't work so well either because hearing her wailing and not helping her was contrary to everything in me.
Forty-five minutes later, right as I really was about to give up and just go to her, she finally fell asleep.
Fifteen minutes later, the alarm went off.

So, at the end of the story, we made it through the night.....with the hope that we don't have to do that again.

Important question

If you give up chocolate for lent, are you allowed to eat Tagalong cookies?

Face it

A face only a mother (and father) could love!

(And maybe a Nonna....or Grosspapa....or Grams....or Gramps....probably an Auntie Tina and Auntie Beth.....also an Uncle Mike and Uncle Scott and Uncle Greg....and while we are at it, a Cousin Cosette and Cousin Juliette too!)

Mysteries

There are a couple of mysteries plaguing this educator's household.....mysteries that are, as of yet, unresolved.....one I think can be resolved through this here blog. The other one....probably not.


The first mystery: missing pants. Yes, you read right, missing pants. See, I had these two pairs of pants that are practically brand new (having bought them shortly before I got pregnant and thus unable to wear them for very long before I was wearing maternity clothes) that are now too big on me (thanks to Aliza's amazing nursing ability). So I was going to bring them to a tailor to get taken in. Which, I actually did one day. But the tailor wasn't there.....so I put the pants in my car (at least I think I did) and brought them home so that I could return another day. Well. I went to bring the pants back to the tailor a couple of weeks later and I could not find them. They are completely missing. I looked in my closet. I looked in Russ' section of the closet. I opened drawers, I looked in the basement....I even looked in the garage. I called the tailor to see if I had left them there.....they are gone. Two pairs of perfectly nice pants! Gone! I am hoping they will turn up still because pants can't just walk away on their own.....


The other mystery is this:

Education of the Educator -- Site Summary ---



Visits Total ........................ 2,600 Average per Day ................. 18 Average Visit Length .......... 2:17 This Week ...................... 129

Page Views Total ........................ 3,265 Average per Day ................23

Average per Visit .............. 1.3 This Week ...................... 162



If you scroll down to the bottom of my blog, you will see a site meter. I put this up awhile ago, thinking I'd end up being embarrassed by the fact that it would take me ages to get to 100 visits (I know how many comments I get and how much I post). To my surprise, I hit the 100 mark rather quickly. At first I was pleased, then puzzled. I started getting reports like the one above and I became even more confused. 18 visits per day? Who are all of you? And, the better question is, why aren't you commenting? I know that there are some people that like to come and watch the videos of Aliza, or look at the pictures I post, several times a day (Hi Grams and Gramps!) but I'm sure they aren't coming to look 18 times.....that means I have some lurkers. I know it's not de-lurking day, but if you stop by this blog, could you leave a comment to say hi? Just so that one mystery in my life is resolved.....

Why I love third graders

This was written by my students during their free time:
All about Mrs. Sherman
By: J and M


Mrs.S/Mrs. F.B (fantastically beautiful) is a really nice teacher and I like her a lot. Her favorite colors are Yellow and Red. She has dark brown hair she also has curls at the bottom of her hair and brown eyes and she also has shiny white teeth. I think that Mrs. S is really pretty. Mrs. S is one of the best teachers I've ever had. Mrs. S has a baby named Aliza. Mrs. S shows 3S videos of Aliza hitting stuff of going sledding and stuff like that Aliza’s really funny and cute. Mrs. S favorite animals is are cats and dolphins. Mrs. S favorite word discombobulated.Mrs S favorite food is her mom’s meat sauce Mrs S favorite vacation spot St. John. Mrs S favorite fruits mango, banana, pineapple. Mrs S favorite dessert is banana cheesecake. Mrs S favorite game is Gin rummy. Mrs S birthday is is August 17th. Mrs. S favorite kind of tea is chai tea latte.Mrs S favorite hobbies are Reading, Writing, Playing with her daughter Aliza , and going on walks. Mrs S teaches 3S. If you get Mrs S as a teacher she will probably be the coolest teacher you’ve ever had or nicest teacher ever. You should meet her! The End! P.S. If you run into her say hi Mrs. S! You awesome!

Seriously, how could I not love my job!?!?

Who else would you see on this blog?

Here are some recent favorite photos of Aliza:

Giggling with Daddy at dinnertime: Playing in the Tupperware cabinet:

Standing up!

Eating big girl food:

Laughing at Daddy some more.......

Transitions

Aliza is growing every day....it's clear in a thousand small ways. The new tricks she learns and loves to show off....the way her legs hang farther down her high chair....her hair that seems to grow by the minute...the way she is outgrowing the changing table on her pack n' play....

Then there are the moments when these small changes become shockingly real. This past weekend Aliza and I took a trip to Target. I started wandering around the baby clothes, looking for some 12 month outfits. I was puzzled at first because I kept finding newborn, three, six and nine months...but no twelve months. Until I realized that the twelve month clothes are not with the baby clothes. They are with the infant and toddler clothes. I needed to look through racks of 2T and 3T clothes to find 12 month clothes. And I had to look for outfits. Not neatly coordinated baby outfits, or one piece outfits. Nope, now I had to make my own outfits! I almost left without looking through the racks just because I felt a little sad at this discovery....

Recently, I had Aliza's toy basket near us while we sat on the floor and played. Well, she decided that the toys I had out weren't the ones she wanted, so she pulled herself up, with some assistance on my part, on the toy basket to peer inside at her options. I stood there, amazed that my baby was standing up.

And then I let go.

And she stood there, holding on, peering inside her toys, looking for the one she wanted. It was only for a few seconds but she stood. All by herself.

My little girl really is growing up.....and just to prove the point, we took her to the doctor today for her 9 month check up. Here are her stats:

Height: 28 1/4 inches (75%)
Weight: 19.2 lbs (70%)
Head: 45.7 inches (85%) *

* The pediatrician asked us if one of us had a big head.....Russ sheepishly raised his hand and she then pointed out that Aliza's head is, well, growing rather rapidly and rather big. It's all daddy's genes though, so the doctor isn't worried!

Dunkin' vs. Starbucks

So, my local Dunkin' Donuts is closed for renovations....now, I'm not a coffee drinker, I'm a tea drinker, and we tea drinkers are often forgotten in the world of all things coffee....but that's a post for another day. You'd think that you can get a cup of tea anywhere, but really, it's not that easy.

I don't often stop for tea, partly because I'm still limited to one cup of caffeine a day and I drink a cup while I'm running around in the morning getting dressed and partly because I leave my house later and later in the morning so I simply don't have time. But on Fridays we are treated to breakfast (and by treated I mean we sign up to bring breakfast a couple of times a year) and I treat myself to a cup of tea. But my local Dunkin' is closed. I could go to another one in town, but it is farther away, and out of my way, and, like I said, I don't have the time. So, lately I've gotten in the habit of stopping at a Starbucks that is somewhat on the way and getting tea there.

I'm sure you are thinking, 'what's the problem? Tea is tea...' and see, that is where you would be wrong. I like the fancy teas as much as anyone, earl grey, raspberry peach, lemon, peppermint, darjeeling....and, if I'm being totally honest I'll say that I love cut tea over tea bags any day. (Tastes better....fresher.) But on a Friday morning, all I want is a cup of regular old Tetley. Or Lipton. With cream and sugar. That's it. Nothing fancy, nothing decaf, or herbal, or fruity...just regular tea.

Impossible to get at Starbucks. So I've been getting chai tea lattes. Which I also love, but to me, are more of a dessert treat than a morning tea. And chai doesn't go as well with the bagel and cream cheese I eat on Fridays. I miss my Dunkin' tea.

How about you? Which do you prefer? Take a gander at my sidebar and cast your vote....

Hqppy Valentine's Day

With love!

Sometimes, you just have to lie

Yesterday, as we were wrapping up a fire drill, one of my students looked at me, concern evident in his face, and asked, "Mrs. S, if we have a real fire, what would you do about Squirt?" (Squirt is our class pet, a leopard gecko.)

Well. I mean, the truth is that if there is a real fire, obviously my concern is for the safety of my students. And myself. I seriously doubt I will think about Squirt in that moment. Not that I don't think Squirt is awesome, and cute, but he's not a kid. I debated internally about whether or not to go with the truth but when I looked at his little face, all freckles and red hair, his blue eyes squinting at me, concern written across his forhead, I just couldn't do it.

"S, if there is a real fire, I'll grab her tank and run with it." I said. He smiled happily at me, his world returned to order and got back in line.

Of course, the students nearby then had a lengthy debate about whether I should grab the cage, or just grab the log that Squirt often hides in. And then we had to have a chat about what would happen if I did grab the log and Squirt started to come out of the log. S didn't participate in any of this conversation; he had his answer and he was content.
And I didn't feel the slightest guilt over that lie.

Aliza's latest

I managed to capture Aliza doing all of her new tricks at once! SO BIG! YAY! and feeding herself!

The Quiet Room

As per usual, Aliza and I went to church with my mom and dad this past Sunday. What was unusual was that my two nieces were with us while my sister enjoyed a trip to Vegas. Since we had so many children in tow, we decided to sit in the quiet room. I'm not really sure why it is called the quiet room, because it was anything but quiet.

The room is situated upstairs, with one door leading to a balcony where you can also sit, and another leading down the stairs. It is surrounded by glass, has metal chairs instead of pews and features speakers from which you hear the sermon. You look out over the people in the balcony to the pews and the alter below.

When we first arrived there weren't too many children in the quiet room. As mass progressed more and more children arrived. Maybe it's because I'm a teacher so I see, and deal with, all manner of behaviors, maybe it's because I have a daughter now so I'm constantly thinking of how I want to raise her, maybe I'm just getting opinionated in my old age but I could not believe the behaviors some of the parents were allowing. Children were banging on the glass, racing cars around, talking loudly....and, for the most part, they were not reprimanded. It is church. You should be quiet. I mean, I know that younger children have difficulty sitting still and staying quiet for a long time. I used to work with three to five year olds, trust me, I know. But to just allow the behavior? To not remind the children that they should at least try to be quiet because they are in the house of God? To not teach your children to be a little respectful? C'mon.

I decided it is the fault of the quiet room. See, no one can really hear what's going on up there. So, it doesn't really matter if your kid is loud. Why discipline if you don't have to?
And then I decided I don't want Aliza to grow up sitting in the quiet room. I want her to learn to sit in the pews with the grown ups. I want her to learn that for forty five minutes of your life you are quiet and respectful and you think about how to be a good person. I'm not so unrealistic as to think that she can do this when she is little. I'm fully prepared to bring coloring books, or a snack, or whatever quiet activity I need to in order to keep her occupied. Because sometimes that forty five minutes is long even for me. But I do believe that young children can learn how to not sit in the quiet room.

My daughter, the drummer

By some strange fluke, Aliza received several drums this Christmas. Her favorite one is one that lights up a different color every time you hit it. She figured out rather quickly how to operate this drum, and has since experimented with hitting it with a variety of other objects.
The only problem is that sometimes she'll try hitting some of her other toys, and when she doesn't get the same reaction she'll often pause in confusion, before returning to her drum.
Here she is, trying it out: (Sorry it is so short, I ran out of memory space on my camera!)

Mixed bag

(Thanks for the title Kelli!) :)
Why I love third graders:
In the midst of my parent observation the following conversations happened:
Student A: "Mrs. S, this is the best math lesson EVER!"
Student B: "Mrs. S, can we call you Mrs. Nice instead? Because you are really nice!"
Student C: "No, we should call her Mrs. Amazing!"
Me: "How about Mrs. Fantastically Beautiful?" We all laughed and moved on with the lesson, although for the rest of the day my name was, in fact, Mrs. Fantastically Beautiful.
Because that's just how we roll in 3S.

Update:
The observation went well. I was nervous and the kids were so excited about the lesson I did (which, I must admit, was rather awesome) that they were a little energetic, but in a positive-learning way, not in a disruptive-negative way. The parent involved sent me a rather nice email afterwards, thanking me for the opportunity. I was supposed to meet with said parent today, but a snow day means that was cancelled. Darn.

Why I wanted to gauge my eyes out with a spoon yesterday:
I recently had a Smart Board installed in my classroom (which I am madly in love with and use every single day for the majority of my lessons now) and was required to attend Smart Board training ALL day yesterday. I've been to a few of these trainings and have already created lessons involving the Smart Board and used it quite a few times. We began the day- and spent the whole morning- learning about the tool bar. And the gallery. And a variety of other tools that can be used with Smart Board software, the majority of which I have already found, experienced, created with and implemented. Finally, in the afternoon, we were given time to actually prepare lessons, but by then I was so brain dead and tired I wasn't nearly as productive as I could have been. And then, of course, there was that person. You all know what I mean. The one person who doesn't know how to do anything and spends the entire day asking questions that if she was paying even the slightest bit of attention she would have figured out. Sigh.

Aliza news:
Aliza's latest trick is clapping her hands. She doesn't exactly make a loud noise when she does so, but she has such a look of concentration and fascination when she does it....I have to get a video to post because it is just the cutest darn thing. We are spending the day together today because yet another snow storm has left us stuck (happily) at home.....

Observation

Today I am being observed.
Not by my principal.
Not by a colleague.
Not even by the language arts coordinator in our building.

Today I am being observed by a parent.

I've been observed by my principal, by colleagues and student teachers. I've had the language arts coordinator for our building in my room and various special ed teachers in my room. I've even had the district language arts coordinator in my room observing, as well as an outside consultant for reading.

None of these people have made me as nervous as this parent.
I am imagining the worst- that he will walk in with a video camera, or a tape recorder. That he will sit there and glare at me and take copious notes on everything I say and do. And that he will then follow up with more meetings to discuss everything that is wrong in the classroom.....

What he doesn't know is that, after a recent interaction where he questioned a decision I had made I woke up in the middle of the night with a certainty growing in me. The certainty that I KNOW what I am doing. And I decided, then and there, that I will not let him make me question myself. Sure, I'm not perfect. As a teacher I make a million decisions in a day, and I'm bound to mess up some of them. Lessons bomb, kids go crazy, things happen. But I know what I'm doing. I have two degrees in elementary education and I'm pursuing a third. That aside, I have nine years of teaching experience. If there's one thing I know it is kids.

So I will not let this parent make me question my teaching. I will not let him put me down. I'm the teacher, not him. I will hold my convictions close to my heart and I will teach the way I always do. With laughter and love and a pinch of firmness.

And I'm going to wear the pendant Aliza gave me for Christmas, just to remind myself of what's really important in my life.

Winter festivities

I started a post about last week, how rough the week was and how, at the end of it, I felt a bit battered by the events. I deleted the post because I decided why waste time writing about something that is just going to bring everyone down?

Especially since we are in the middle of a three day weekend and another snow storm has left us with the perfect excuse to stay home and hunker down....and have some fun with Aliza:

Plutonium

The other day I was speaking with a colleague whose wife recently had a baby. He was telling me how he was talking to his wife about the milk she had pumped and he said to her that she treats it like plutonium.

In the midst of this story I, apparently, gave him A Look much like his wife did....and he asked me to explain why the milk is so special. I stumbled over my words, fumbled for an explanation and finally ended with, "It just IS plutonium!"

I've been thinking about the conversation ever since...how do you explain it to someone else? Someone who doesn't know, or doesn't understand?


Nursing, and pumping, is so much. It is time....time away from my piles of things that have to be done. Time where I can't do anything BUT nurse, or pump. Time where I get to snuggle with Aliza and just be her and me, together- the way it was in the beginning.

It is also satisfaction....the satisfaction of knowing that not only did I nurture her for the nine months she developed, but that I am continuing to nurture her and feed her. The satisfaction of knowing that she is getting all of my good antibodies and immunities. The satisfaction of knowing that this is something that only I can do for her and that it is one of the best things I can do for her.

It is also sacrifice....I can't drink, at least not without feeling immense guilt. I still have to watch what I eat as some foods make her upset or gassy. And some foods are still off limits. I miss out on activities and conversations because I'm nursing. It feels like my body will never be the same afterwards. And when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I am the only one that can stumble out of bed and give her what she needs. Foregoing my own much needed rest. It is exhausting to do but also, oddly, calming.

It is both an amazing feeling and a royal pain in the neck. But I'm not sure that even this post does the feeling of nursing justice.
It might not be as rare as plutonium. Or even as expensive. But it just IS plutonium.

Pause

Being a teacher, I was always good at multi tasking. You have to be when you are in a classroom of twenty to twenty four students, all of whom often have something to tell you all at the exact same time while you are trying to organize the next lesson....
When I became a wife I became even better at multi tasking. Something about owning a home and doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning and shopping for two made me use my time more wisely and do multiple things at once, pretty much all the time now.
Now that I am a mom, well, multi tasking is like second nature. Case in point? This morning alone (it is currently 5:37 am) I have made lunch for two, taken out everything Aliza needs for the day, made chili which is currently in the crock pot (love my crock pot), taken laundry out of the dryer, checked my email, made coffee, gone through the mail from yesterday and cleaned the counters and sink. Oh, and nursed Aliza- twice. All before taking a shower and having a single sip of tea.

Here's the thing about multi tasking though....sometimes you have to stop. It's really difficult though. I get twitchy if I'm not doing multiple things at this point. But sometimes? Sometimes you have to just stop.

There are only two things in my world right now that make me stop. The first is pumping. I know, I know, that sounds strange, but you can't do anything else while you are pumping. It's not easy.....it's not easy to stop everything I'm doing in the middle of my day and just sit still for the ten minutes it takes me to pump, but I do it.

The second thing that makes me stop is Aliza. She is changing so fast, it blows my mind....and I don't want to miss it. Sometimes, like last night, I'll be holding her while unloading the dishwasher, or having her sit in her high chair while I clean up after dinner....and even though I'm with her, I'm still not with her. And I'll realize that. And I'll stop. And then we go and play, or read, or practice for crawling. And I spend time just being with her. Looking at her. Breathing her in and remembering how she is right. now.
And I pause.

Books, books, books....

I love to read.

As a kid I always had my nose buried in a book. I preferred books to T.V. shows and would literally carry books with me everywhere.

The love of reading didn't lessen as I grew older, but I found it more and more difficult to find time to read, especially when I became an over committed teacher. Now, as a mom, I want to instill in Aliza a love of reading. My parents did this for me--they read to us constantly and they were readers themselves. We read to Aliza all the time, and she loves to read (she even turns the pages herself sometimes!) but watching us read....well, that is another story entirely. Lately I've had two problems, the first being finding the time to read, that is, time when there isn't something else to do or I'm not exhausted from doing everything; and the second is finding something to read. It is difficult to make myself stop....to ignore the piles of things to do and to just read. Not to mention I don't read when Aliza is awake (unless I'm nursing her) because if she's awake then we are playing....so that limits my time even more.

I was given the book Love Walked In and I started it with every intention of finishing it. It was slow going at first and I tried, I really did, to stick with it. See, I hate abandoning books. I usually don't do it. I'll push through hoping it will get better....this book didn't grab me enough, at least not yet. I am not willing to admit defeat though, it is not yet relegated to the book shelves downstairs. It rests by my nightstand waiting for my return.

Because I was frustrated by the fact that I really want to read, I returned to an old favorite author. I was convinced that she would kick start my return to reading because her books, although heavy and often difficult to read, are always beautifully written and make me think deeply. I read Mercy in only a few days. It was comfortable reading yet another Jodi Picoult book. I've read enough of her writing by now to know what to expect and there is something oddly comforting to return to an author whose writing style you know.

Partly through reading Mercy, my sister gave me another book to read. She told me to get a move on because the book would soon be a movie and everyone knows you need to read the book before you see the movie. So I started reading it I was determined to finish it in time to see the movie with my sister. Which I did, but don't ask me how because I couldn't tell you.
I then proceeded to read the other three books in the series.

And then I got stuck for awhile. I mean, stuck with what to read next. I wasn't quite ready to return to Love Walked In, but I didn't have anything that was grabbing me....I thought about revisiting an old series I read previously that I know my brother in law is reading, but the books are thick, and there are a lot of them. Frankly, the task was daunting.

While at Target the other day I actually wandered through the book section and picked up Sarah's Key. It's an author I've never heard of before but a premise I enjoyed: two stories, one set in 1942 Paris, right in the midst of a war, and the other set sixty years later, also in Paris. Two lives, entwined unknowingly....a historical perspective and a modern one. I'm enjoying the book immensely, although I have to put it down at times because it gets a bit sad and rather intense....

Now that I am nearing the end, I know that I need to continue my reading quest with something new. The problem is that I need a book that is really appealing to me as a reader. I can't read a book that takes ten chapters to get going....so, if you have any good suggestions, dear readers, let me know....help me to stay on my reading journey....to build it into my life so that Aliza builds it into hers.

New Year

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Gave birth. I’d say that’s enough, wouldn’t you?

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
So I’m one of those people that doesn’t exactly make resolutions….not to say I’m perfect, far from it, but I kind of feel I’m always working on the same things in my life every day: remembering the small moments, treasuring family, being a good person, making wise choices, trying to be the best I can be at everything I do…. Those are always my life goals and will continue to be.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My dear friend Diana gave birth to a handsome little man. A cousin also welcomed a son and I have a few friends with buns in the oven, due to arrive in ’09.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?
Does Saint Lucia count?

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I honestly can’t think of a single thing. My life is full to the brim of blessings and there is nothing I can think of that I lacked in ’08….

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
May 17th. It is the day I welcomed my baby girl into this world.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Again, giving birth, and doing so naturally. As far as I’m concerned, I can do anything after that. And, for the record, it doesn’t matter that it was a shorter labor. Folks I didn’t even have a freakin’ Advil in my system when I gave birth. If that doesn’t make me Super Woman than I don’t know what does.
I’d say my other greatest achievement is going back to school for the first time in eight years. And choosing a program that will ultimately land me in a principal position. The thought of leaving the classroom scares me, but I am proud of myself for starting on that journey....

9. What was your biggest failure?
Staying home—I mean, briefly being a stay at home mom and not the professional educator I’ve been for the last nine years….I don’t want to say I failed, but, it’s the first time in my life that I felt like an absolute failure. If I am being completely honest, I will admit that I spiraled into a depression the worse I’ve ever felt in my life. I was angry and upset and depressed and incredibly guilt ridden. It was really hard for me to admit that I couldn’t do it, and to then deal with the guilt I felt over that. I wondered constantly what was wrong with me, and sometimes I still do wonder that….Many of those feelings are still there, inside of me today, but I am working through them slowly as I try to be the mom I want to be and the teacher I used to be.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, again, thankfully. Unless you want to count throwing up for nine months straight. But I guess that wasn’t so much an illness as a symptom.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Ummm….wow. I can’t think of anything. Most of our money this year went to Aliza- getting ready for her arrival, taking care of her etc. Oh wait! I forgot! My new car! I LOVE my Sante Fe.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
As always, my family. I wouldn’t be who I am today….I wouldn’t be where I am today, if not for them.
And my husband…..I didn’t think it was possible to love him more than I did, but with the arrival of Aliza he has become the Dad I always imagined he could be.
And, of course, my friends. I am not the best at keeping in touch, but they are there for me always and I am blessed to have amazing, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive friends.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My colleagues—the team that I work with that continues to be downright rude and hurtful to me. (Who has a party and invites the other two teammates but not me? Seriously?) And the one friend- or the one colleague I thought was my friend- that turned out to be one more person unable or unwilling to be a true friend.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Happily- to Aliza. From trying to get pregnant (pre natal vitamins, and ovulation predictor sticks add up!) to finding out I was pregnant (several pregnancy tests later) to being pregnant (hello maternity clothes) to preparing for her arrival (furniture, diapers, clothes, toys and books, oh my!).
And to my new car. Have I mentioned I love it!?!?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
No surprise here- Aliza! And not just her, but the joy she has brought to so many. It is amazing how a baby breathes new life, new hope and new happiness into everyone around.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I can’t answer this question…I honestly have no idea.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier
b) Considerably thinner! (It helps that I’m not pregnant!!)
c) Hmmmm…..richer emotionally, poorer financially I guess.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Stood up for myself.
Worked out more regularly.
Said no when I was overextended and exhausted.
Called friends just to say Hi.
Slept.
Read.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I can’t think of anything I wish I’d done less of….I guess, going along with above, saying yes to things.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with Russ and Aliza in the morning, my mom, dad, sister, brother, brother in law, Grams and Joe and two beautiful nieces in the afternoon and then with my mother in law, father in law, sister in law and brother in law at night.21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Sure did, her name is Aliza!

22. How many one night stands?
Dear lord! None!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Same old favorites—Dancing with the Stars, The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, So You Think You Can Dance.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word….I don’t think there is anyone I truly hate.

25. What was the best book you read?
Wow. Another question I don’t think I can answer. I don’t think I can pick just one book…..

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rather than a group, I’m going to say XM Radio. Seriously it is the coolest thing ever and I am in love with it. It is helping me to discover new music, which I feel I haven’t done in a long while.

27. What did you want and get?
My daughter. It was thirteen long months of hoping and wishing and praying before we learned she was coming….

28. What did you want and not get?
Respect from my teammates. I think I need to give that one up, it’s been several years now and it just isn’t happening.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Geez. These questions are tough! Again, I don’t think I can pick one. Partly because one doesn’t really spring to mind, partly because we don’t really watch movies and partly because the movies we do watch are often of the Iron Man, The Hulk, Indiana Jones variety. Not that those movies aren’t fun, but they aren’t necessarily the kind of films that leave me with a lasting memory.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned (gasp) 32 this past year and spent the day just the way I wanted- eating a delicious meal of a variety of mini burgers hand crafted by my hubby surrounded by my family. I also got a few fantastic new purses, what is better than that!?!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
There is nothing more satisfying then becoming a mom. Truly.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
I think that I discovered accessories in a very big way in 2008. Lia Sophia jewelry to be exact, although any jewelry really. I also continue to be in love with fun shoes, and have recently decided I need to broaden my range to include non-pointy toe shoes.
Other than that I’d say that I’m pretty basic- no flashy prints or exotic things for me.

33. What kept you sane?
When I was most stressed, most overwhelmed, most exhausted, I would think about Aliza’s arrival. I would dream of walks around the neighborhood with her, lazy days spent playing and all the joys I knew a new baby would bring. In the midst of any drama at school, she was my one source of contentment and peace, even before her arrival. Now that she is here, she continues to be all that and more.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Wow. I feel like maybe I’m not paying attention to things because I can’t think of anyone for this one either. I’m going to think about this one and get back to it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I think that the election this year was the most amazing thing I’ve witnessed in a long time. No matter how people voted, everyone I know, everyone I talked to, was involved and interested. It was amazing.

36. Who did you miss?
Hmmm…..I think I have to say some of my high school friends that live far away. We got together spontaneously recently and seeing them again, after so long apart, was so special. It reminded me of how, no matter the distance or the time or the life events, when we are together it is easy and comfortable and fun. It is amazing to have people in your life that you can truly be yourself with, and to know that they love you for it.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I made a new friend at work and I’d say that this new friend has been my rock lately. Hands down, I’m lucky to have found this new person!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
I learned that becoming a mom truly is the most amazing blessing there is in this world. I am not nearly eloquent enough to describe how it feels…how every time I even think of Aliza my heart swells and I feel like I might burst. How hearing her laugh makes everything right in the world and watching her grow and explore her world is more fascinating than any movie, TV show or book. She is everything and more.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Oh dear lord! Another hard question!

Holiday photo montage

In no particular chronological order (someone must explain to me why blogger insists on only displaying html text of photos, instead of the actual photos themselves, thus making it rather difficult to move photos around) here are some photos from Aliza's first Christmas....from family parties, to opening presents at home, she had a busy, blessed, Christmas!

Merry day

Merry Christmas!!!

Aliza's firsts

Aliza has experienced several new firsts....Here we are documenting them!

Opening her first Christmas present! (Thanks Aunt Cindy and Uncle Steve!)


Eating her first Christmas wrapping!


Her first baby doll!


Picking out her first Christmas tree! (Daddy cut it down for us!)


Making our first Christmas ornament! (Auntie Beth would be proud!)



Sitting on Santa's lap and getting her first present from Santa at her first ever holiday party!

Dilemma

I have a friend....no, really, I do.

And she screwed up. At least I think she did. She sent an email to me. About me.
Yeah. Oops.

She immediately sent another email claiming the first email was meant to be about someone else. She then emailed a few other random things, then called- twice, and texted. All signs of a guilty person I feel.

We chatted, she told me a story that doesn't make sense in the context of the email she sent. I gave her several opportunities to admit she messed up, she stuck to her story and that was that.

But then I got annoyed. Hurt and upset and angry. She is, was, my best friend. The one person I thought was NOT talking about me behind my back. The one person I thought I could trust. Fine, people need to vent, but dear lord, at least have the decency to admit when you are wrong.

I decided I would be civil, but not friendly. She caught on rather quickly and sent me another email mentioning that things seem different and telling me she'd like to chat. I replied and said that we should talk in person. Since then, nothing. No emails, texts or visits.

I feel that she is the one who messed up so she should seek me out. I have no idea what she thinks but we are now, clearly, not talking. I had the best speech prepared for her. I was debating about what exactly I should say, how mean I should be..... but now? Now, I am losing the will and the desire to say it at all. Ultimately, I won't get what I want: the truth. I believe she is lying, but I also believe that she won't back down from the lie. Doing so would mean she would have to admit she messed up twice: first in the sending of the email and then in concocting a story to cover up the email. I also believe that our friendship, no matter what, is forever changed. Because now she is one more person who is talking about me behind my back. And now I don't trust her.

So this, then, is my dilemma. Do I let it go and attempt to return to a somewhat normal relationship with her, while keeping in mind that she may very well be talking about me behind my back? Or do I give her the speech that I prepared, knowing that she will, most likely, be talking about me behind my back?
I honestly don't know. What I do know is that I am sad. And hurt. I miss my friendship with her a lot. And I know that no matter what, our friendship is forever changed.

Chatty Cathy

Here's Aliza demonstrating her latest trick!